The Festival of Lights

Latkes are my favourite!

When I was a kid, I quit Chanukah.  

Chanukkah.

Hannukah.

Hanukkah.

However you spell it, I wanted nothing to do with it.

I was about 9 years old when I declared my disenchantment with the festival of lights. I told my Mom that I wanted to celebrate Christmas instead, because all of my friends at school did. I was one of only a handful of Jewish students in a small elementary school, and I wanted to do what everyone else was doing. Naturally.

My Mom found this humorous. She thoughtfully reminded me that I was born into the Jewish faith, and there was not one thing wrong with that. She also told me that I was free to choose the religion I wanted to subscribe to, and if I chose none at all, she would love me all the same. She even took me to our local public library, so I could read about the Jewish holidays, and the holidays of other faiths. If I was going to make a decision, it was going to be an educated one. With colorful pictures and huge print.

That year, I explored Christmas. I read about the baby Jesus, the wise men, and the *gasp* Virgin Mary (Hey, I was a kid!). I helped a classmate decorate her Christmas tree. I was pretty much done with Chanukah. My family, however, continued to celebrate the holiday. My Dad would help my brother hold the shamash as he lit the other candles. They all said the prayer, as I sat at the kitchen table and didn’t participate. They lit the candles, and then we all ate dinner together. When I reached for the latkes, my mother smirked and jokingly said “Those are for Chanukah.” I scowled at her.  This went on for several nights. As the holiday drew to a close, I approached my Mom to say I had changed my mind. I wanted to be Jewish again.

She smiled at me and raised her eyebrows when she asked me what had changed. She hugged me tightly when I said: “I missed lighting the candles with you, Daddy and Adam. I didn’t like being by myself.” And that’s how I learned the most important thing about faith: Having faith, no matter where you stand on the idea of religion, is about being with family, and never ever feeling alone.

Although I’m not religious at all, and often joke that I’m Jew-ish, I have always had faith. I have always believed in family, and tradition, no matter the format. In my home, there will be a menorah AND a Christmas tree, for both me and Tyler. This weekend when I head to Trenton to visit his family, I’m bringing the menorah my Mom got me for my first apartment in Toronto, and a bunch of fancy candles to light. Lighting the menorah is how I stay connected to my heritage, but mostly how I stay connected to my family and my childhood. It is the only holiday I truly celebrate, because it reminds me of the freedom I was given to choose, and to be my own person. And I also love latkes, and would eat them every day if it were socially acceptable. With applesauce.

So to all of my Jewish friends, I wish you a very festive and happy Chanukah. May your latkes be plentiful, and may your dreidel games win you heaps of gelt.

Here's some Adam Sandler to make it extra special. Eight craaaaazy nights!

To everyone who is reading this (thank you!), Jewish and not: 

May you always have faith in something. And let there always be family and friends to support you, and remind you why just being YOU is enough.

Happy Holidays!